Everyone had a good time at GS Class Day. There was a brass band, there was a Korean pop star, and there was a Valedictorian named Brian Corman who made a speech. This was not an unusual thing for a Valedictorian to do, but Mr. Corman did something out of the ordinary: he stole a joke, just about word for word, from comedian Patton Oswalt. Corman inserted it into his speech as if that very anecdote had happened to him. Whoops!

Bwog really wishes we could relay the joke to you, but as soon as we signed on YouTube to find the video of GS Commencement, we found that the video had become private. We hear from the lucky few who got a look at the video before it was taken down that the joke centered around a scene in a Physics for Poets class, in which a GS student challenged a question on the exam, showing that GS students always think they’re right because they are always right. Watch Oswalt’s original version of the joke here.

A scan of Oswalt’s Facebook page reveals he is none-too-pleased. “Jesus fucking CHRIST,” he writes in response to a link showing Corman’s bit, “Again?” Oswalt is now figuring out how to get the snippet of video with Corman’s joke back so he can send it to the “several big media outlets” that are asking him for it. You read it here first, folks!

A final piece of advice for our readers: if you’re going to steal comedy bits, don’t steal from living comedians who use the Internet a lot. Steal from Milton Berle, he never tweets! A few pieces of evidence below, we’ll update you as events unfold.

Update, 1:30: And Columbia has put the video back up on YouTube! Scroll to 33:56 for Corman’s speech, and indulge in the barrage of comments. Columbia has added a meaty disclaimer to the video:
It has come to our attention that a portion of our Valedictorians address at this years Columbia University School of General Studies Class Day was taken from a comedy routine by Patton Oswalt. Until today we were unaware of this conflict, and as an institution of higher learning that upholds the highest standards of respect for the works of others, we are deeply distressed that this has occurred. Columbia University and the School of General Studies do not condone the use of someone elses work without proper attribution. Mr. Corman has issued an apology to Patton Oswalt. — School of General Studies, May 25, 2010

Update, 4 PM: Dean of GS and Bwog Hero Peter Awn has issued the following statement about the debacle:

It has come to our attention that a portion of our Valedictorian’s remarks at this year’s School of General Studies Class Day was taken from a comedy routine by Patton Oswalt.  As an institution of higher learning that places a core value on respect for the works of others, we were surprised and disappointed to have learned of this matter today. Columbia University and the School of General Studies do not condone or permit the use of someone else’s work without proper citation. The student speaker has appropriately issued an apology to his classmates and to Mr. Oswalt for failing to provide such attribution.

If you’re in GS, send along that apology right quick using our tip form.

Corman has also apologized directly to Oswalt, which the comedian related in a blog post on his website that he titled “Sloppy and Desperate.” Still, Oswalt writes that Corman “owned it all.”

Update, 5/26 2PM: Corman’s email to his GS ‘10 classmates:

Dear Seniors,

I would like to apologize to the Senior Class for my actions on Class Day. As many of you know, I used one of Patton Oswalt’s jokes in my speech (the one about the Physics for Poets class). I sent an apology to Mr. Oswalt yesterday, and he has responded on his website. My intention was to have a funny story amidst the more serious parts of the speech to get a few laughs, and I was completely in the wrong for thinking that it was OK for me to take his story and make it my own. I am extremely sorry to the GS Senior Class for betraying their trust and embarrassing the school, and please know that I never meant to harm anyone by this.

My sincerest apologies,

Brian Corman

-Photo via Medicaltourismmag.com

Today is the last day to switch your classes to pass/fail, so if the pre-spring break midterm you just got back was not quite what you expected, switch now or take the letter grade.

Bwog’s chief grading transition expert Julia Mix Barrington alerted us that, for Barnard students, the switch to pass/fall is all done online, so save yourself a trip to the registrar and head to the joy that is eBear.

For the engineers among us who may have spent too much time watching robot death battles and too little time studying, today is the last day to drop a class for SEAS.

-DJB

Late last night, we reported that the Hungarian Pastry Shop would soon be offering Flex.

Well, about that: It turns out that it’s actually Sip that is going to be soon accepting Flex–a fact that’s been confirmed to Bwog by Michael Novielli of Student Auxiliary and Business Services–and the Hungarian was accidentally mislabeled in our tipster’s email. We’re very sorry for the error.

Still, Sip is offering Flex! Which is arguably just as exciting as a few hours ago when you thought the Hungarian was doing so.

Late-night news in “Giant Inflatable Penis-gate,” as the queer community has moved quickly to respond to the controversial editorial published in Wednesday’s Spectator. In addition to the factual errors, the editorial is also attracting controversy for alleging that Queer Awareness Month “must be sure to focus on awareness and education before revelry.” The “revelry” in question was Genderfuck, the underwear-only party held this past Saturday night.

Word of the editorial spread quickly through queer organizations on campus. About 20 students (including several leaders of the queer community) commented on the original editorial, and the Spectator uploaded Thursday’s letters to the editor before the rest of the site was updated. In addition, seven student groups have sent a letter to the Spec editorial board, calling the editorial “inaccurate, sensationalized, misinformed, and malicious” and demanding “sufficient space be given in the immediate future to concerned groups and individuals to offer editorial responses.” Finally, plans are already in place for a “kiss-in”/protest at the Spec’s offices tomorrow at 12:15 PM.

In addition to publishing Thursday’s letters early, the Spec is considering a meeting with queer groups on campus, and a source tells Bwog that editor-in-chief Tom Faure will be penning an explanation of the editorial process in the same issue. The letter from the student groups to the Spec editorial board is posted after the jump.

UPDATE 3:26 AM: Faure’s aforementioned letter is also posted after the jump.

Read more…

An amused tipster — who has thoughtfully already coined the phrase “Giant Inflatable Penis-Gate” — has just pointed Bwog in the director of Spec’s recent correction to this morning’s staff editorial on Queer Awareness Month. The correction reads:

“Because of an editorial mistake, the original version misstated that Columbia Queer Alliance was responsible for Queer Awareness Month. While CQA and QuAM collaborate on some programs, QuAM is its own unique group. The editorial also misstated that a giant inflatable penis was part of QuAM’s opening tabling. It was in fact part of a different campus event.”

Shocking Report from Bwog tipster Hillary Busis: The fire alarm in East Campus has gone off three times in about thirteen hours.

According to Public Safety, it’s not a fire drill, just a malfunctioning alarm. And they have “people working on it.” 

Stay strong, EC.

Cupcakes: The all-purpose graphic! Perfect for film reviews.

And articles about cupcakes.

Barnard flooded with drawings of stick figures burning bras

Also: an actual flood

GSSC VP resigns, explains “I have an off-campus apartment now [...] I can only do so many things at once.”

Collegeboxes screws up deliveries, not that’s it’s anything new.

U.S. News screws up Barnard’s rankings.

How much can Bill Clinton tell you about saving the world?

Spec tells PrezBo and Shapiro to be careful on this one…