Everyone had a good time at GS Class Day. There was a brass band, there was a Korean pop star, and there was a Valedictorian named Brian Corman who made a speech. This was not an unusual thing for a Valedictorian to do, but Mr. Corman did something out of the ordinary: he stole a joke, just about word for word, from comedian Patton Oswalt. Corman inserted it into his speech as if that very anecdote had happened to him. Whoops!

Bwog really wishes we could relay the joke to you, but as soon as we signed on YouTube to find the video of GS Commencement, we found that the video had become private. We hear from the lucky few who got a look at the video before it was taken down that the joke centered around a scene in a Physics for Poets class, in which a GS student challenged a question on the exam, showing that GS students always think they’re right because they are always right. Watch Oswalt’s original version of the joke here.

A scan of Oswalt’s Facebook page reveals he is none-too-pleased. “Jesus fucking CHRIST,” he writes in response to a link showing Corman’s bit, “Again?” Oswalt is now figuring out how to get the snippet of video with Corman’s joke back so he can send it to the “several big media outlets” that are asking him for it. You read it here first, folks!

A final piece of advice for our readers: if you’re going to steal comedy bits, don’t steal from living comedians who use the Internet a lot. Steal from Milton Berle, he never tweets! A few pieces of evidence below, we’ll update you as events unfold.

Update, 1:30: And Columbia has put the video back up on YouTube! Scroll to 33:56 for Corman’s speech, and indulge in the barrage of comments. Columbia has added a meaty disclaimer to the video:
It has come to our attention that a portion of our Valedictorians address at this years Columbia University School of General Studies Class Day was taken from a comedy routine by Patton Oswalt. Until today we were unaware of this conflict, and as an institution of higher learning that upholds the highest standards of respect for the works of others, we are deeply distressed that this has occurred. Columbia University and the School of General Studies do not condone the use of someone elses work without proper attribution. Mr. Corman has issued an apology to Patton Oswalt. — School of General Studies, May 25, 2010

Update, 4 PM: Dean of GS and Bwog Hero Peter Awn has issued the following statement about the debacle:

It has come to our attention that a portion of our Valedictorian’s remarks at this year’s School of General Studies Class Day was taken from a comedy routine by Patton Oswalt.  As an institution of higher learning that places a core value on respect for the works of others, we were surprised and disappointed to have learned of this matter today. Columbia University and the School of General Studies do not condone or permit the use of someone else’s work without proper citation. The student speaker has appropriately issued an apology to his classmates and to Mr. Oswalt for failing to provide such attribution.

If you’re in GS, send along that apology right quick using our tip form.

Corman has also apologized directly to Oswalt, which the comedian related in a blog post on his website that he titled “Sloppy and Desperate.” Still, Oswalt writes that Corman “owned it all.”

Update, 5/26 2PM: Corman’s email to his GS ‘10 classmates:

Dear Seniors,

I would like to apologize to the Senior Class for my actions on Class Day. As many of you know, I used one of Patton Oswalt’s jokes in my speech (the one about the Physics for Poets class). I sent an apology to Mr. Oswalt yesterday, and he has responded on his website. My intention was to have a funny story amidst the more serious parts of the speech to get a few laughs, and I was completely in the wrong for thinking that it was OK for me to take his story and make it my own. I am extremely sorry to the GS Senior Class for betraying their trust and embarrassing the school, and please know that I never meant to harm anyone by this.

My sincerest apologies,

Brian Corman

Hans Hyttinen gives you the highlights of the SEAS ’10 Class Day.

This year’s SEAS Class Day was marked, as is the norm, by a number of speeches, both funny and inspiring.

Seth Davidovits and Rodney Chang delivered the valedictory and salutatory addresses, respectively. Met with general approval, their speeches were interesting and humorous—especially Seth’s, as he mentioned feeling sorry for the Class of 2013 since the world would end before their Commencement, or at least according to the Discovery and History channels.

Paul Brandt-Rauf, Columbia professor and holder of six (!) Columbia degrees, gave the Class Day Address. Surely aided by his extensive Columbia graduation experience, Brandt-Rauf’s speech, though a tad long, appeared well received. Evidently aware of his audience’s decreased attention span, he admitted, “I can drone on endlessly and say things that nobody will ever recall.”

ESC 2010 President Heather Lee, recipient of her first Columbia degree, also made a fine speech. Most notably, she gave her heartfelt thanks to the parents and professors who had helped SEAS 2010 achieve their goals, especially honoring the professors: “…and thank you for the problem sets, helping keep the ‘C’ in ‘SEAS.’”

The Clefhangers, a student a cappella group, closed the ceremonies with “Stand, Columbia” and “Roar, Lion, Roar.” SEAS 2010, Columbia salutes you!

Jon Edelman reports from GS Class Day this morning.

In true GS style, guests were greeted by Howard Fishman and the Biting Fish Brass Band, who marched the graduates in to “Down By the Riverside,” rather than your typical 10-minute rendition of “Pomp and Circumstance.”

The ceremony continued with a rendition of the national anthem by Lena Park (GS ’10), who earned her bachelor’s degree from Columbia after achieving R&B stardom in Korea.

Another, marginally more famous GSer, Jacques Pépin (GS ’70), took the podium after Park to deliver the Class Day Address. Pépin came to Columbia for language classes within a week of his immigration from France. His speech focused mainly on his bio and some follow-your-dream-type lines, it was generally well-received, even “inspirational” according to several graduates.

GS students are crazy!

Valedictorian Brian Corman’s speech was also widely praised.  Corman focused on GS students’ non-traditional and often more difficult paths. He illustrated with student examples, including that of Timothy Goebel, who became the first person to land three quadruple-jumps in a figure skating program after falling on the first one that he attempted.

Bwog dubs the ceremony a delight: a beautiful morning, a brass band, a Korean pop star and a famous chef. Congratulations GS ’10!

Photo via Wikimedia Commons

Remember how Bill Clinton was going to maybe speak at CC Class Day? Well, he isn’t, but he will be speaking at the Public Health School’s Graduation at New Balance Track & Field Arena on 168th Street. Hubba hubba!

The complete Graduation/Class Day/Commencement hullabaloo calendar has just been released for CC, GS and the School of Mines. Other notable speakers include chef Jacques Pepin for GS, Gail Collins for JSchool, our old friend Eric Holder for Law School, and Meryl Streep for BC.

See the full schedule and speaker list after the jump. Read more…

SIPA students are unhappy, and not just because they have to smoke their cigarettes in that weird little buried courtyard. No, it’s something bigger: they’re unhappy with the school’s choice of graduate and trustee Vikram Pandit, the embattled CEO of Citigroup, as graduation speaker. While it may be harsh to call Pandit “One of the 20 Worst American CEOs of All Time,” he’s certainly an interesting choice for a public affairs program–and the rumored Zen garden and $38 million 2008 salary can’t help matters. So, like any good 21st-century protesters, they’re taking to the web. The “We don’t want a bank executive to speak at our commencement” Facebook group is now private, but at last check had over 200 members, impressive for a 500-person class. We’ll keep you posted.

Photo via William Munoz’s Flickr

Photo via NAACP

The youngest-ever president of the NAACP, Ben Jealous, CC ‘94, will be speaking at Columbia College’s Class Day. At a celebration tonight in Havana Central’s back room, Class Council 2010 President Cliff Massey revealed Jealous’s selection after weeks of speculation that saw names floated including Bill Clinton and Kofi Annan

Jealous, who was involved with the BSO and several other student groups while on campus,  got his B.A. in political science at Columbia before heading to Oxford as a Rhodes Scholar for his Master’s in comparative social research. He has worked at the Rosenberg Foundation, Amnesty International, and the National Newspaper Publishing Association. He was among the 2009 honorees for the John Jay Award, given every year to an alum of the College for his or her distinguished professional career.

Massey expressed excitement over the choice, telling Bwog, “Since he graduated sixteen years ago, he’s faced similar challenges to the ones the Class of 2010 will face soon,” citing Jealous’s work in health care litigation and social justice issues. CC Dean Michele Moody-Adams wrote in a press release, “Benjamin Todd Jealous wonderfully personifies the value that Columbians have long placed on active engagement in the world and in finding the solutions to society’s challenges. We will be proud to welcome him back to Morningside Heights.”

Massey also told Bwog that the Class Day committee’s original shortlist also included actress Anna Paquin (who studied at Columbia for a year) and President Barack Obama. Though Obama was the most popular choice among students, the security measures required for a presidential visit (such as the Secret Service securing several Res Halls while students were still living in them) made an invite impossible. SEAS and GS, the ball’s in your court. Full Columbia press release after the jump.

- JCD

Read more…

Photo by Google Images

Breaking news from the Diana Event Oval! Meryl Streep has just been announced as Barnard’s Class Day Speaker. Bwog is hoping she’ll deliver the speech in a medley of her most famous characters– a Miranda Priestly drawl, a Julia Child shrill, whoever she played in 2006’s under-the-radar film “The Ant Bully”. Make way for Meryl, 2010!

For most of our readers, the graduation ceremonies have finished, and after watching all the webcasts, we still can’t tell them apart. They all have graduates throwing things/falling asleep/not paying attention, administrators reminding said graduates about the opportunities that await them, and lots of light blue and school pride. The one area that does have the potential to make a ceremony slightly worth your time (besides the diploma, of course, and the post-ceremony family gifts) is the speech. But did this year’s selection make people perk up their ears, or drop their heads? (photo from acordova on Flickr)

SEAS Class Day – James Albaugh, Executive Vice-President, Boeing: Allbaugh started off nonchalantly, joking about the absence of the West End, and his lack of academic success while at Columbia (Albaugh recieved a master’s from the engineering school in 1974). The first half of the speech focused on the problems Albaugh felt faced the new generation of engineers, including global warming, and he bemoaned how the United States is failing to keep pace in science education. The second half of the speech, however, could have been given to a new group of Boeing employees, as Albaugh moved through pieces of advice for anyone seeking a career in engineering. He even drew advice from how people become a “friend of Jim” at Boeing, and closed with a quote from a newspaper article about the first cross-country flight of a Boeing 707. In giving a thoroughly practical speech, Albaugh too often sounded like he was reading from a corporate memo. Grade: B- Read more…

But only if you’re in the Law School or SIPA. Columbia’s Office of Communications and Public Affairs announced the complete list of Class Speakers today, and joining Attorney General Eric Holder are many other famous names to prop up the 22 various Class Day and Commencement ceremonies taking place between this Saturday (the B-School) and next Thursday (Law School and Dental School).

Among the big names: former California governor Gray Davis at the Law School graduation, former National Security Advisor Brent Scowcroft at SIPA’s Commencement, Talking Points Memo’s Josh Marshall at the J-School’s Class Day, New York Times medical correspondent Lawrence Altman at the Med School graduation, and senior advisor to Hillary Clinton Phillipe Reines at General Studies’s Class Day. Of course, some of the speechifying talent isn’t travelling very far: professors Jagdish Baghwati and Jeffrey Sachs will be speaking at the Ph.D. convocation and the Dental School graduation ceremonies, respectively.

Our favorite detail, though? Both J-School ceremonies are “closed to the media.” Full list after the jump. Read more…

In a decision lacking much of the fanfare of the College’s Class Day speaker announcement, SEAS deans chose their own speaker over the weekend: James Albaugh, SEAS M.S. ‘74.

Albaugh earned his B.A. in Math and Physics from Willamette University and is now executive vice president of the Boeing Company and chief executive officer of Boeing Integrated Defense Systems. According to his Wikipedia page, he supervises a $30.8 billion budget, and is one of Boeing’s “best paid managers.” See you May 18, Jim!

Photo via boeing.com